


It Made Us Restless

by alicat542



Series: When We Were Young [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 14:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicat542/pseuds/alicat542
Summary: Emily had a lot of pictures in her mind about what her life would be like in college. Accidentally sleeping with one of her sorority sisters who has slowly been becoming her best friend was not in the picture. Emily has to juggle between relationships and friendships judging what is most important in her life. In this mess she finds herself going down paths she isn't proud of and cutting ties she never thought she would. Suddenly college just got a way more complicated.keetuhh.tumblr.com





	1. One Day After

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This is my newest work! I have a pretty distinct storyline in my head about how this will progress and will try to update it as quickly as I can while still updating my other story. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

“Fuck” was all that Emily could muster, barely above a whisper before her eyes sprung open. She lay frozen on the ground where she had fallen asleep the night before and took note of all of the sore parts of her body responsible for sleeping on a tile floor with nothing but a thin blanket for padding. There was a soft early morning light emitting through the blinds, covering the room in thin stripes of light and dark. Still too frozen to move, Emily listened carefully for the rise and fall of breathing from the room around her and was able to relax her limbs a little when she realized that she was clearly the only one awake. Realizing that now was the only time to escape unnoticed she gingerly sat up and pried the arms that were around her off. She slid into her pair of shoes she left by the door and grabbed her bag that she had hastily packed the night before. She took one last glance around the room and sighed at the many still sleeping bodies on the dorm room floor and the two bodies asleep in the lofted beds, the sight made her stomach church with anxiety. Emily opened the door slightly so that the too much light wouldn’t come in and wake up the occupants of the room, squeezed through and closed the door slowly, exhaling a huge breath as she exited.

 

She exited the dorm building into the direct sunlight and her body instantly woke out of the daze she was in before. She reached into the pocket of her pajama pants for her phone just to see that it was on it’s last leg of battery, she caught a glimpse of the time and groaned again. Opening up her contacts to send her best friend a message, her phone died in her hand before even typing in a name. Emily understood in that moment that she was too anxious to even process a logical thought.

 

She marched her way across campus, walking to the other freshman dorm on the other side and took in the appearance of a few other students walking towards the dorm. Most of them were either in party clothes from the night before or in pajamas much like Emily. Some people limping and staggering from a night of drinking and a few still in a sleep filled haze. The thought that she was now in the crowd of the “walk of shame” made Emily’s stomach lurch and her nerves frazzle.

 

Showing her ID she entered the building and walked directly into her first floor room, dropping off her bag and grabbing her phone charger. Her roommate Morgan grunted in her direction but rolled over and went back to sleep. Relieved by the lack of interaction, Emily slipped back through the door as quickly as she came and ran up the stairs to the fourth floor as fast as she could. Stopping at the top of the stairwell Emily collapsed to the ground and caught her breath. Her mind was moving a million miles an hour and her hands were shaking. She closed her eyes and counted out her breaths and with each one, a memory from the night before coming back.

 

 _Breathe in_ \- Hands drifting over her torso.

 

 _Breathe out-_ Heavy breathing in her ear.

 

 _Breathe in_ \- the ghost of a smile across her own lips as she pulls into the face in front of her.

 

 _Breathe out-_ A leg hitching over her hip and gently grinding down.

 

 _Breathe in_ \- Emily lifting her hips to grind up with all of her breath caught in her chest.

 

 _Breath Out._ Emily forced her eyes open and the thoughts out of her head. Her breathing regulated she opened the door out of the stairwell and walked down the short hallway. Reaching her destination she jiggled the door and was unsurprised to find it open. Emily entered the suite and plugged in her phone to the first outlet that she found before facing the bedroom door she was looking for. Without any introduction she opened the door and burst through.

 

“So I had sex with Kelley O’hara last night.” She stood in the front of the room at the foot of both of the beds. One of the beds, was empty, the occupant Rose having gone home for the long weekend. The other bed on the other hand was double occupied by a very naked Lindsey and her equally naked boyfriend Russell. Russell was the first to open his eyes and turned to poke Lindsey in the cheek until her eyes cracked open.

 

“Emily what the fuck?” Lindsey said, smoothing over her blankets making sure that everything important was covered and tucked away and turned an annoyed face towards Emily, before quickly taking in her very disheveled appearance.

 

“I said I had sex with Kelley O’hara last night.” Emily said again. She pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair and threw her hair back into a slightly neater bun, her baby hairs still crowning her face and sticking straight out. She knew she must have looked somewhere near clinically insane with her eyes bugging out of her face, in pajamas that weren’t hers and screaming at her best friend at six o’clock in the morning on a Saturday. She started pacing back and forth in the small area in the front of the room and was wringing her hands, waiting for Lindsey to acknowledge the statement or address her in anyway. She shot her eyes back at the couple still in bed. Russell had his eyes glued on Lindsey, open in shock and Lindsey had her eyes straight on Emily, laced with concern.

 

“Okay, when I left everyone last night she was literally crying over…” Lindsey sat up a little, pulling the sheet up with her for the sake of modesty.

 

“I know I know. I was there too.” Emily said exasperated.

 

“And last I checked it was no booze, no boys so I know you weren’t drinking.” Lindsey listed off.

 

“No believe me it happened completely sober.” Emily now was sitting on the edge of Rose’s bed staring Lindsey hard in the eye. She was lost for any coherent thought and at the same time her mind refused to be silent. She hung her head down and let out a sigh that felt as though it had been trapped in her chest since the night before.

 

“Are you happy or not happy that you slept with her?” Russell propped himself up on his side looking over Lindsey who snapped her head back at him. Emily’s head popped up and narrowed her eyes.

 

“Okay new dude. I have nothing against you and everything I’ve heard is stellar but I’m in the midst of a crisis right now and I’m 100% in panic mode. So you can be seen and not heard right now, deal?” Emily stood back up and pointed her finger at Russell who looked absolutely shocked.

 

“Deal” he said, clearly offended, sinking back into the bed while Lindsey props herself up more.

 

“You’ll be okay, she’s stressing bad right now.” Lindsey said over her shoulder before turning back to Emily. “How are you?” Her eyes narrowed, clearly examining Emily. Emily put one hand on her hip and another one resting on top of her head and took another deep breath.

 

“I’m really freaking out right now.” she said plainly. She flicked her eyes around the well decorated dorm room and her mind flashed back to the room that she was in just under an hour ago. She closed her eyes and thought about the last glance she had in the room of bodies strewn across the floor, still sleeping soundly after a full fledged sleep over and she knew that no one else would be awake for a long time.

 

“Lets dissect this. Why are you freaking out? Do you feel guilty? Happy? Relieved?” Lindsey listed, her eyes still scanning Emily intently.

 

“I don’t even know. I mean it wasn’t like bad.” Emily said her eyes fixed now on a piece of the fraying rug she was standing on.

 

“Emily, babe, honey, there’s a reason you came to my room at five in the morning to tell me this. Don’t get me wrong, you’re my best friend and I would do anything for you and all of that corny nonsense, but this is a new stretch for us.” As Lindsey was talking Emily’s shoulders continued to drop and the wrinkles in her forehead continued to deepen. “I need you to fill in some blanks for me, when I left you all last night it was just going to be a sleep-over in her and Christen’s room with her and her family line. So when did this happen?” Emily had resumed her pacing in the middle of the room before jerking her head over to Lindsey.

 

“It happened during the sleepover.” Emily studied Lindsey carefully for her reaction.

 

“Like when? In the bathroom? Did you sneak off somewhere?” Lindsey continued while Emily started to clam up again.

 

“Like once everyone was asleep. She like kissed me and then we got handsy and then one thing lead to another and then we rolled over and went to bed and I woke up and walked over here and I’ve been having a panic attack ever since.”

 

“Holy shit Emily!” Lindsey all but yelped. “What the hell were you thinking? You just finger fucked your sorority sister who you have had zero romantic interaction with before last night, in a room full of sleeping friends?” Emily felt her face getting more and more red and her hands starting to tremble again. She looked up at a still flabbergasted Lindsey and saw Russell turning over locking eyes with Emily.

 

“Don’t you even dude, turn back over.” Emily directed all of her frustration towards Russell who turned back and started playing on his phone again. “I’m so confused.” Emily said, sliding onto the floor in front of Rose’s bed and propping her elbows up on her knees.

 

“You two have a lot of shit to figure out, clearly. But do you even like her Emily? For the past six months all I’ve ever heard is you talking about your ex Steph. I knew you and Kelley were close, but given what she talked to us about: just yesterday I might add, is this something you even want to explore?” Lindsey was now mostly sitting up in the bed, her hands still clutching the sheet covering her and her eyes staring very intently and concerned at Emily.

 

“I don’t know. Like I really don’t.” Emily sputtered out without an eloquence. “I love spending time with her, we’re together all the time and I’ve thought about kissing her before, but I didn’t know if that meant I liked her or what. And now it’s all blown into flames?” Lindsey’s expression softened a bit before she spoke up again.

 

“Okay Emily, here’s what you’re going to do. Go back down to your room and go back to sleep. Send her a text that you want to talk to her after greek week practice and then turn your phone off. I’ll come by and pick you up and we can head over to the house together and talk about exactly what happened and exactly what you are going to tell her when you talk. You look like garbage honestly and you are clearly exhausted so go get some rest and we can figure it out at a decent hour.” Emily dragged her eyes upward at Lindsey who was nodding earnestly and then glared at Russell who was peeking over her shoulder trying to read Emily’s reaction.

 

“Okay. I’ll see you at noon then.” Emily lept up from her spot and ran her hand through her ponytail again. “I’m sorry to come bursting in on you. But you’re a very good friend and I owe you one. Russell, pretend this didn’t happen and then you and I can re-meet in like two days and I’ll be delightful then.” Russell let out a bit of a chuckle and him and Lindsey let out their mixed goodbyes as Emily walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She crossed through the suite and picked her mostly charged phone up from the charger and groaned at the notification.”

 

 **Kelley O’hara:** _hey… a little disappointed I didn’t get to see you before you took off. Let's hang out later?_

 

Emily questioned storming back into Lindsey’s room and asking her exactly how to word the response, but before she knew it her fingers were typing out a message.

 **Emily Sonnett:** _I didn’t leave because of anything that happened. I just needed to get some air and get back to my bed. That floor killed my back, haha. Let's do lunch after greek week practice?_

 

It took seconds after she pressed send before Kelley had already responded back.

 

 **Kelley O’Hara:** _Probably skipping practice today, not feeling up for it. I’ll meet you in your room after practice and we can go from there._

 

A million thoughts were running through Emily’s head about why Kelley was skipping practice or why Kelley was disappointed that Emily wasn’t there this morning. Emily had made her way down to her room and flopped back onto her bed without waking a sleeping Morgan across the room. She felt so heavy and exhausted and anxious she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to turn off her mid at all when her phone buzzed again.

 

 **Lindsey Horan** : _I’m not kidding go to bed. It’ll all still be here in a few hours. I love you moron._

 

With that Emily turned her phone off and curled deep into her covers, forcing her eyes shut and wishing loudly that she can try to sleep before the rest of her day explodes.


	2. 173 Days Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of this is backstory. The timeline is going to jump every chapter, also I won't tell the names of the sororities but if you drop in my inbox I will let you know if the guesses are right!

Out of the eighty girls going through recruitment, there was one in particular that Emily wished, almost prayed wouldn’t be in her future sorority. 

 

It was the third and final day of recruitment. She had gone into college knowing that there would never be a part of her considering going greek, then after a very convincing greek orientation panel she found herself signed up with her very eager roommate, Morgan. Who insisted that it “would be fun” and “an amazing bonding experience”. So far Morgan was half right. 

 

Three weeks after freshman move in, Morgan and Emily were still living around one another. Overly polite, minding to shower schedules, inviting one another to meals out of social necessity; but the two were not friends. Morgan was a bubbly chatterbox who was very interested in absorbing herself in what she called the ‘college experience’, which involved bouncing around over campus and making friends anywhere she can. Emily on the other hand was content taking a laid back approach, observing the campus, feeling everything out and then blending in wehre she felt comfortable. Joining a sorority didn’t necessarily fit into her plan. 

 

Morgan was right, the two of them were bonding. They spent each night helping each other pick out outfits, she only laughed a little when Emily repeated poked herself in the eye when she tried to put on mascara for the first time since her senior prom and she called the help of some other girls in their hallway when Emily needed help putting earrings in for the first time in years. The two had gone from people who slept five feet apart, to individuals who enjoyed spending time together. 

 

Morgan and Emily bonding: check. Recruitment being fun: the jury was still out. There were a handful of sororities on campus and each one had overwhelmed Emily in a different way so far. One was too happy, one was too perfect, another was a bit aggressive on tradition and a few that were really big on the whole ‘sisterhood’ thing. No matter which one, there was a lot of clapping and singing and a few pretty creepy candlelit ceremonies. Emily also had a hard time understanding why she had to be in either business casual or cocktail attire so that she could sit in the cold basement of a house, greet a million sisters, eat finger sandwiches and learn about different philanthropies. Overall, her feeling about the experience was a solid ‘meh’. The final night was an invite only party, afterwards the sororities would vote on the girls who would be joining each of the houses, and the girls going through recruitment would rank in what order they wanted each house. The process made Emily want to rip her eyelashes out. She was okay buying into the sorority life of having friends, participating in a worthwhile philanthropy, going on retreats and overall having a family away from home. But the idea that strangers who had met you a few times were going to vote on her likeability made her anxious, cranky and frankly a little sweaty.

 

She was called back to one sorority, it was her one shot to be a part of greek life. Her one shot to not be the girl who no one wanted. Morgan on the other hand had been invited to two parties, one for the same house as Emily, and the other was the same sorority her mom and grandma had been a part of. The roommates had already discussed their feelings and decided that they were happy if the two of them ended up in different houses, but Emily still found herself staring at Morgan while the two were getting ready and hoping that she would have Morgan as her security blanket. 

 

Cattle was the only word that came to mind. Emily couldn’t help but draw the comparison as she and twenty other girls were herded into a waiting room before the first, and in Emily’s case, only party. She felt her heart in her throat as the girls around her chattered anxiously and was suddenly very aware of how the cotton of her plain black dress was sticking to her thighs. It was the only dress she owned and as she looked around the room with girls with perfect makeup and hair, she was nervous it wasn’t good enough anymore. Suddenly there was a clapping and the girls were ushered into a line by their recruitment counselors and lead down the stairs while the girls of the house sang a slow song about sisterhood and love. 

 

It wasn’t until Emily was sitting across a tiny two person table from the gorgeous Allie Long that she felt her hands stop shaking, the stimulus of being around so many people had finally calmed down to just being around one. Allie was grogeous in an intimidating way, with sharp features and striking blonde hair that was pulled over to one side. She was wearing a black dress like every other members of the sorority and Emily was trying not to feel suffocated by it in the room. The two sat across from each other and had done the formal introductions that Emily had practiced at every recruitment event. Stating her name, major, where she’s from, why she’s wanting to go greek etc etc etc. In return the sorority sister usually responded with the same statistics about herself. Emily was shocked when she quickly realized that this was not Allie’s intention.

 

“Okay, so you said you wanted to go greek to feel at home on campus. What’s the real reason?” Allie looked across at Emily, her eyes boring into her. Emily had to remind herself not to put her arms on the small table and slouch, but instead recrossed her legs.

 

“That is part of the reason. But my roommate was a big push for me to do this.” Allie sat back a little further in her chair and smiled, almost smirked in a confident way that made Emily nervous.

 

“I went through recruitment because of my roommate too. I honestly thought I was going to drop out every night up until pref night because I felt so uncomfortable the whole time. Don’t get me wrong I love it now, but at the time all I saw was getting dressed up and having to present yourself a certain way and that is so not me.” The casual way that Allie presented herself instantly calmed Emily. “I asked because you look a little like a fish out of water and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to jump ship after tonight.” Allie’s bluntness didn’t surprise Emily, but rather gave her something to think about. 

 

“I won’t jump ship. It’s just hard trying to figure out where I belong and what I want, honestly. I mean, let’s be real. I’ve never done this before.” Emily responded with a shrug.

 

“Let’s be real, none of us had.” Allie shrugs back, challenging Emily. She picked up a scone that was resting on the plate of treats in front of them and ate it slowly, giving Emily time to respond. 

 

“I have a twin sister. Growing up we were very close and I miss that. I was afraid when I came to college it was going to take me too long to make friends and then I wouldn’t fit in anywhere. Then my roommate and I got off to a slow start and I was even more nervous. When she suggested that we do this together, I automatically felt like I was finding my place. I feel so overwhelmed with this whole experience, but it doesn’t stop me from meeting some fantastic people and figuring out who I am on this campus.” Emily, who was looking down this entire time, looked back up and made eye contact with Allie who had switched from a smirk to a genuine smile.

 

“And that right there young one, is why we want  you.” Allie said with a glint in her eye. Emily squinted a little trying to process exactly what Allie just said. “I’m totally not supposed to tell you that, but technically it’s not a violation and what are they gonna do, kick me out?” This got a smile out of Emily. 

 

“I was so worried no one was going to want me.” Emily said plainly. 

 

“You remember Ali Krieger, the other Ali?” Allie said gesturing over her shoulder at a girl with long brown hair who was flitting around the room checking in on each of the tables of girls. “She’s our recruitment director, and she met you the other night and hasn’t shut up about you since. Don’t worry, you’re wanted.” 

 

Emily’s eyes settled on Ali for a second and remembered back to her conversation on the first night with Ali. About two seconds of prying information and Ali had been chatting along happily with Emily when they discussed how they grew up, their siblings and the fact that they were both defenders for the high school soccer team but both decided not to try to play in college. Emily smiled softly, remembering that she was so relieved she had something to talk about and wasn’t sitting there wide eyed praying for conversation to come. 

 

“Yeah apparently playing the same sport as someone really creates a bond, even if you were never on the same team.” Emily smiled and nodded. 

 

“Oh I know, I don’t have an athletic bone in my body, but just wait until we do intramurals and Greek Week, all of the girls who did sports in highschool bring out their competition in incredibly scary ways.” Allie laughed Emily tried not to focus on the fact that she said we, when talking about the sorority. Allie looked around the room and gave a nod to Ali and another tall brunette who were pacing around the room checking the groups, and Emily saw Ali mouth “two minutes” in Allie’s direction. 

 

“The whole purpose of tonight is for us to sing your praises and tell everyone how great you are, which is going to come easy for us honestly.” Emily tried not to let the heat crawl up her face at this comment. “But I have one last question to ask you, if your roommate goes to a different house, are you going to be okay with that?” Allie again shifted her gaze so she was staring at her directly. 

 

“I mean yeah, she can do what she wants. We already talked about it and we’re still going to be cool no matter what.” Emily said.

 

“Okay good. I had to check because some of you freshman are like a ‘package deal’ and that's honestly so frustrating.” Emily found herself appreciating Allie’s candidness tonight, she felt as though most of the conversations this week had been very tense and scripted, but she could tell in this moment, that this was unapologetically who Allie was. “Also if I don’t let Krieger come over here and tell you how badly she wants you to be a sister, I think she is going to explode.” Allie said looking across the room to the other Ali who had her eyes locked on the pair. She waved her over grinning widely.

 

“Ali! I was just telling Emily how much I would love to have her as a sister.” Allie said looking at Emily who was focusing on not shifting in her seat. She watched Ali Krieger’s smile illuminate throughout her whole face. 

 

“Can I hug you? I’ve had a great conversation with you and I would absolutely love to have you in our house!” Ali walked around to Emily who stood up and was pulled into a full embrace by Ali. 

 

“Thank you.” Was all Emily could say, she didn’t know what the appropriate response would be or how to approach it so she just smiled back as big as she could manage. 

 

Soon after this the party had ended and Ali had called everyone to order, wishing them luck tonight and said how much she would love each of the girls in her room to be a part of their house. Emily felt a tight squeeze on her shoulder and turned around to see Allie holding her arms out in front of her.

 

“In sororities, we hug. Get used to it.” She said pulling Emily forward. Emily who wasn’t much of a hugger tried not to tense into the hug and instead smiled. “Honestly Emily, I really hope I see you at our bid day tomorrow.” Emily’s smile grew.

 

“Thank you Allie. Honestly you made me feel better about all of this.” And with that all of the freshmen were ushered back upstairs and out of the house and onto greek row. 

 

An hour later Emily was sitting in the student commons of the student union with half of the other girls going through recruitment. She was sitting alone half watching a movie that the recruitment counselors put on, munching on pizza and waiting for Morgan to get back. All of the girls were kept in the room until all of the houses had finished voting for the night and then they were allowed to go back to their dorm and wait for bid day the next day. All of the girls who were in the room were only invited to one house, Emily looked around the room and noted all of the girls who were there and recognized many of them from the same party she went to earlier, she then realized she could be looking at her future sorority sisters. As she was scanning around the room she tuned in to some of the conversation that she was hearing that she had previously been ignoring in favor of whatever Rom Com it was in front of her. 

 

“All I’m saying is that statistically we’re in. If you think about how many girls were in that room during our party, say about twenty. And the second party also has twenty girls in it and they have thirty bids to give out, then we are in. Because at least ten of the other girls had a second party and will pick the other house.” The words were coming very quickly out of a scrawny, shorter girl who was sitting with her back to the wall. There were two girls sitting in front of her all drinking in all of the words that she was saying as if their life depended on it. She was wearing athletic shorts and a huge tee shirt much like the other girls in the room who had changed out of their stuffy pref night clothing, but somehow she looked so much more at home than any of the other girls in the room. 

 

“But even if we do put them first, there’s still no guarantee that they’ll pick us.” another girl chimed in. Emily looked at the group of girls and instantly recognized them all from the same party at the same house she was in. 

 

“I mean yes you’re right, but Christen you’re fine. Also all of the girls in the second party are probably going to list another house first anyway.” the small girl was talking very animatedly, using her hands for emphasis and staring very hard at the girl in front of her, as though she was desperate for her to believe her. 

 

“Kelley you don’t know that.” the third girl in the group had said. The shorter girl, decidedly Kelley at this point just scoffed.

 

“I think these bitches would be dumb if they picked any other house. Did you not see how some of those girls acted this week, how fake they all were? Could you not tell that they didn’t actually want us there and were waiting for their real picks? Because I could read it off of their faces right away and I knew that I didn’t want to go greek if I was going to end up in one of those houses.” Emily was instantly taken back by this comment, how quickly Kelley was to talk about the other girls going through recruitment and how quick she was to judge the other houses. Emily knew she wasn’t the most careful eavesdropper but when Kelley locked eyes with her and Christen turned around to look at her, she knew she was caught.

 

“Yo, blue nike shorts. Come over here.” Emily was very abrasive to Kelley’s behavior but stood up and walked toward the small group of three anyway. 

 

“You’re going to be sporting sailboats with us tomorrow right?” Kelley asked directly. Emily never did well on the spot and instantly felt anxious.

 

“I mean, if I get picked. It was the house I was called back too.” Emily shrugged, choosing to make eye contact with Christen instead of Kelley. 

 

“They looked like they were eating out of your hand tonight, you’re in for sure.” Kelley said. Emily shifted awkwardly, being the only one in the group standing and decided just to nod. “We’ll I guess we’re going to be sisters then!” Kelley said grinning, she nudged the other two girls who grinned just as widely. 

 

“We’ll see. Hopefully we don’t get that knock on the door at eight am.” Christen said, referring to the conversation the recruitment counselors had with them earlier, they were going to alert all of the girls who didn’t get a bid beforehand so they didn’t have to show up to the bid day celebrations just to be disappointed. 

 

“Shut up Christen, I already told you that Ali Krieger girl was like salivating over you and she’s in charge of their recruitment.” Kelley said very bluntly. Christen shrugged but still had a soft smile on her face. Emily heard the door to the room open and was so relieved when she saw the other half of the girls walk in, including Morgan.

 

“Well, I’m going to go talk to my roommate. See you guys tomorrow maybe.” Emily turned her heel and was about to start walking away when she heard Kelley speak again.

 

“Wait!” Kelley scampered up. “I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Kelley O’Hara, this is Christen Press and Julie Johnston. If we’re going to be sisters we might as well meet each other formally.” She stuck out her hand for Emily to shake, Emily accepted and hoped her smile didn’t come off as a grimace. 

 

“Emily Sonnett.” She smiled at the other two girls and waved and they smiled and waved back. She looked and saw Morgan approaching and decided to intercept as soon as she could. “Bye guys.” and she turned towards Morgan and gave her panicked eyes to walk the other direction.

 

“What’s with that?” Morgan said as Emily grabbed her gently by the elbow and steered her over to the place she was sitting before. 

 

“Just a conversation I no longer wanted to be a part of.” Emily said, then turned towards Morgan who was glowing with happiness. “How did it go? Tell me everything!” Morgan beamed and gave Kelley the story about both of the houses she went to and how they parties were similar and how they were different. Emily was dying to ask Morgan which house she liked better but also knew that it wouldn’t be best if she did, so she just waited for it to come up naturally.

 

“At the second house I sat with Allie Long, and that girl is fierce! I don’t know what deal I have to make with a devil to get that jaw bone but I’ll do it.” Emily smiled at the familiar name “She loved you by the way, she asked if we were roommates and said you were very nice and good to talk to.” Morgan said, which helped ease Emily’s mind a little. “So how was your party?”

 

Emily went into detail giving Morgan all of the information about her conversation with Allie and how at the end of it she felt much better and couldn’t help but get a little excited when she saw how brightly Morgan was smiling. 

 

“That’s the house I want. Allie totally convinced me. And I don’t know if it’s going to be weird because we live together and if we’re sisters and also I should probably have a real conversation with my mom about why I’m not joining her house, but it just felt so right, ya know?” Morgan finished talking and Emily wanted to burst in relief and happiness.

 

“I’m going to hug you because that’s what sorority sisters do.” Emily said, repeating the line from Allie earlier and reaching over to hug Morgan. 

 

“Okay okay, now that we got that out of the way, I’m going to go put on sweats and take off about three pounds of this makeup, and can you grab me a piece of pepperoni?” Morgan walked away with her overnight bag and Emily walked over to grab more pizza for the both of them. 

 

“Is your roommate wanting to go to the same house as well or is she going to be wearing owls tomorrow?” Emily turned around and found herself looking slightly down at Kelley who was sipping on a Diet Coke like her life depended on it. 

 

“I don’t know. She didn’t tell me.” Emily lied, her eyes scanned for a way out of the conversation.

 

“Well, if she goes to the other house, less competition for us I guess.” Kelley said with a shrug and Emily paused over the pizza, contemplating how she wanted to respond.

 

“I don’t care where she goes as long as she’s happy.” Emily said picking up two slices of pepperoni. 

 

“How long have you been practicing that answer?” The way that Kelley's eyes settled on Emily made her squeamish and Emily was afraid that Kelley was able to read her like a book. 

 

“I haven’t.” Was all Emily said. Kelley squinted her eyes and walked past her, patting her on the shoulder as she went. Emily walked over to the spot she and Morgan had settled in and decided at this point she would rather be in any other sorority than the same one as Kelley O’Hara. 


	3. One Day After (Pt 2)

Emily sat on her bed with two Chipotle burrito bowls in front of her. After a full greek week practice of learning the rules to all of the different sports, practicing their flag football formation, their chariot race, and their greek sing performance, she expected to be exhausted and starving. Instead she felt nauseous at the smell of the food in front of her and was more awake and alert than she had been all day. She quickly stood up and took the food and placed it on her desk across the room and paced in the area between her and Morgan’s bed thinking about what was to come.

**xxx**

She spent the entire Greek Week practice in a haze, not feeling fully awake and not feeling present. Allie had caught on to her behavior within minutes of practice. 

 

“Little sis, you gotta wake up, if anything it’s because no one knows anything about football.” Emily smiled softly and shrugged. “Anyway, where’s your other half?” Allie gestured around the room which only confused Emily.

 

“Which one? Lindsey is over there and I think Moe rode over here with Alex.” Emily explained searching the basement of the house for the two girls. 

 

“No not them. Kelley, we need her for the chariot race, she’s our backup if Ali and Syd can’t run it that day.” Allie eyed Emily who tried not to squirm under the eye contact. 

 

“I don’t know if she’s coming or not. She doesn’t check in with me.” Emily almost rolled her eyes out of defensiveness but stopped herself, realizing she needed to check her attitude. “I saw her last night before the Koala Family sleepover but I haven’t seen her since, want me to text her?” Emily tried again and watched Allie’s facial expression change from defensive to questioning. 

 

“Nah, it’s on her if she doesn’t show, her participation points at risk. I just figured you might know where she is, I haven’t seen you without her for months now.” Allie joked, her eyes still studying Emily to see if she would soften at all. The two talked back and forth for a little while longer until Allie was summoned to go over the rules of flag football with the group and everyone else shuffled to find a seat in the basement. Emily sat down criss cross on an oversized ottoman and put her chin in her hands ready to tune out the next twenty minutes when Lyndsey sat next to her.

 

“Just hang on a few hours and we can chat afterwards. You gonna be alright?” Lyndsey asked Emily while Allie was calling the room to order. 

 

“I’m fine I guess. Allie asked me where Kelley was and for some reason that set me off.” Emily shrugged attempting to whisper.

 

“I mean, you two are obsessed with each other. Of course they’re gonna ask her best friend where she is.” Lindsey laid across the ottoman on her stomach, taking up enough room for at least two other people on the large cushion. 

 

“You’re my best friend.” Emily said definitively.

 

Lindsey rolled her eyes “Whatever. You know what I mean.” Emily wasn’t sure that she did. Right when she was about to respond Allie cleared her throat loudly and shot a look at Emily and Lindsey who both rolled their eyes and laughed. Emily adjusted so she was laying on her stomach next to Lindsey and leaned her head on her shoulder and sighed.

 

“I hate greek week.” Emily whispered. 

 

“No you don’t. You love it. And you love Allie and you love me, you’re just an anxious mess right now. Now hush before your big throws something at us.” Lindsey whispered again looking up at Allie who was glaring directly at the two of them and aggressively stating the rules to football so that the rest of the room was shifting their glances towards the two of them. Once they stopped talking Allie changed her tone of voice and started smiling again which caused the room to laugh together. Emily relaxed into the seat and tried to focus on what Allie was saying. 

**xxx**

Emily stopped pacing and slumped down in her desk chair and checked her phone again, disappointed to see that there wasn’t a notification waiting for her. Frustrated she chucked her phone at her bed and drummed her fingers on her knees looking around the room. Morgan told her that she wasn’t going to be back for most of the day after greek week practice stating that she had a huge midterm to study for. Emily had almost hoped that Morgan would be back so she could use it as an escape to delay this conversation with Kelley. 

 

She was nervous. Nervous was an understatement, she was anxious. Nerves standing on end, stomach churning, thoughts racing level of anxious that was typically reserved for test days or first dates. She hadn’t felt this nervous since the morning of bid day. Hookups weren’t her deal. Friends with benefits wasn’t her deal. Why she decided to hook up with one of her best friends was so incredibly out of character for her it scared her. She didn’t understand why or how it happened or how she felt about this. Emily stood back up and walked over to her bed suddenly getting an idea.

 

**To: Nicky Richards**

**From: Emily Sonnett**

**Subject: Really Freaking Out Right Now**

 

_ Hey Nicky, _

_ I’m sorry to bother you on the weekend but I just wanted to message you before our appointment on Monday. Last night I slept with one of my sorority sisters and basically I’m freaking out and don’t know how to process this. I guess I just wanted to give you a heads up and also tell somebody. Sorry to bother you but I guess I just needed to known that you knew. _

 

_ Best regards, _

 

_ Emily. _

 

Emily pressed send on the e-mail before she could talk herself out of it. Nicky was a psychology masters intern who worked in the counseling office. On her first week of school during Freshman Orientation there was a day where the freshman all sat in a cold auditorium listening to every department on campus talk about the different amenities and services that they offered each student. Emily’s ears perked during the Counseling Center presentation when they said they offered free services to each of the students and had many interns that would do weekly sessions for anyone who needed it. She had texted her girlfriend at the time who told her that she thought that would be great for her transition into college and it always helped to have someone to talk to. Now it was March and she had been seeing Nicky weekly since September and had formed an attachment to the therapist. She relished having a weekly space where she could voice all of her thoughts and fears and anxieties without feeling like she was burdening someone or over sharing with one of her friends and more than anything she finally felt like she had someone who understood her. She knew she needed to tell Nicky before her session on Monday because she was afraid if she didn’t she wouldn’t bring it up on monday and hope that it would just blow over. 

 

She was thinking of the strategies that Nicky would tell her to use in order to calm her anxiety now, to identify her feelings and isolate each of them when she heard the door to her suite open with a squeak. She was sitting on her bed with the door open to her bedroom suddenly feeling extremely exposed. 

 

“Em?” Emily’s stomach flipped over when she heard Kelley’s voice, small and sweet call out her name. 

 

“In here!” Emily hoped that her voice didn’t sound nearly as shaky out loud as it did in her head. 

 

“Found you!” Kelley said with a giggle as she walked into the room. She stood above Emily on the bed, the two of them contemplating their next move. Kelley reached out her hands for a hug with a big smile on her face, doing nothing to help with Emily’s nerves. Emily stood and walked into Kelley’s embrace, very stiff while Kelley pressed her body into hers. “Relax, it’s just me” she said and Emily tried to force herself to relax under Kelley’s touch, instead she just felt more aware of every hair on her body and every tense muscle. 

 

“I brought you Chipotle” Emily said stepping back, a soft smile on her face.

 

“I know silly, you texted me about it.” Kelley said teasing Emily. She walked over to the desk and opened up each of the bowls  inspecting to see which one is hers. 

“Can we talk before we eat?” Emily asked, prompting Kelley to cover the bowls again and Kelley to lock eyes with her. Emily willed herself not to loose her nerve and stay strong, not breaking eye contact with Kelley.

 

“Of course we can. I knew we were going to, it’s always so serious with you.” Kelley joked. She went and propped herself up on Emily’s bed, leaning back against the wall and adjusting pillows behind her back. She scooted over so that she was in the far corner, leaving enough room for Emily to sit down next to her in the same position. She gestured to the spot grinning and Emily shook her head. 

 

“I think I want to sit across from you if that’s okay.” Emily internally grimaced at how it sounded like she needed Kelley’s permission. She sat down at the opposite end of the bed, pulling her legs into her so she could sit criss cross. She took a shaky breath and hoped that it didn’t betray her. She realized that she was staring at the spot in between her crossed legs and forced herself to look Kelley in the eye. “So about last night..” She started, hoping she could gage Kelley’s reaction.

 

“It was fun right?” Kelley said grinning. Emily felt as though all of the breath had been taken out of her lungs in complete disbelif at how casual Kelley was. “But I take it you’re not okay with it?” 

 

Emily measured her words “No no. I was okay with it. You’re right it was… Fun.” She wanted to look anywhere else than in Kelley’s eyes but Kelley was making sure that Emily was focused on her. 

 

“Clearly you’re not okay with it.” Kelley said matter of factly. Her smile had dropped but she didn’t look upset. “You texted me this morning making sure I knew you didn’t leave just because we hooked up and now you look like you’re gonna pee your pants. So clearly you’re not okay with this.” Emily swallowed and chewed over Kelley’s words. Kelley had always been good about reading her and understanding her thoughts, which is what initially drew Emily into her, right now she wanted Kelley to tell her what she was thinking and how to digest it. 

 

“I mean. I’m okay with you.” Emily looked slightly left of Kelley, finally breaking the hard eye contact. 

 

“Good. Because I’m okay with you.” Kelley agreed. “Not everything has to be so serious and set in stone.” Kelley said simply. Emily brought her eyes back to Kelley and bunched her eyebrows together. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Not everything has to have a hard label on it Emily. We can be friends that had fun and that’s it. At the end of the day you’re my best friend and I’m yours and no one knows. It doesn’t have to be a thing.” Kelley shrugged. 

 

“That’s true I guess.” Emily felt stuck, trying to decide what Kelley meant. The events of last night kept flashing in her head and she looked forward at the freckled legs sticking in front of her and up at Kelley’s flashing eyes. 

 

“I like you.” Kelley said plainly. “I liked what we did last night, but I also like just doing this.” Kelley pointed back and fourth between the two of them. “Just because we hooked up doesn’t mean we have to be more than friends.” Kelley shrugged and leaned further into the blankets.

 

“Are you saying you want us to be friends with benefits?” Emily crossed her legs tighter, wrapping her arms around them.

 

“That’s exactly the opposite of what I’m saying. I don’t want a name or a label or any of that. I want us to keep being friends and whatever happens happens.” Kelley said. 

 

“I don’t know if I know how to do that.” Emily said plainly.

 

“I know. You’re a serial monogamist. But I’m barely over Jared right now and I just want to feel good and have fun. Are you okay with that?” Kelley asked, her foot nudged Emily’s leg. 

 

“I like you too.” Emily repeated. “And I love spending time with you.” This made Kelley grin.

 

“I know silly girl, I love spending time with you two. That’s why I blow off everyone else like constantly just so we can hang out.” Emily felt her face heat up at Kelley giving her an affectionate name and smiled softly. Her head was scrambled, the word she used to Nicky whenever she tried to explain her confusion and she didn’t really understand what was happening and she realized that Kelley was waiting for a response. 

 

“Okay.” Was all Emily said plainly. “Hanging out with you is my favorite and I didn’t expect that at all when I met you.” Emily smiled and watched Kelley’s expression.

 

“I really liked kissing you.” Kelley said, her foot nudging Emily again. She scooted forward and and pushed her legs into Emily, grinning. 

 

“Yeah. I guess I liked that too.” Emily said, her face warm and her stomach fluttering. 

 

“And if we did it again. I wouldn’t be upset about it.” Kelley said, scooting forward even more. Emily felt her muscles tense again. Kelley at this point had lunged forward and was crawling towards Emily on the bed on her hands and knees scooting towards Emily. She put her arms on either side of Emily’s legs and hovered over her, putting her mouth mere inches from Emily’s. “Actually. I really really liked it. I’ve been thinking about it all morning.” She whispered.

 

Emily felt frozen and she watched Kelley sit back on her knees and put her hands on Emily’s legs and looked intently at her, waiting for Emily to make the first move. “I’ve been thinking about it too.” They both smiled shyly at each other.

 

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Kelley challenged, inching even closer to Emily. Her lips almost touching Emily’s, waiting for her to make the final move. Emily moved forward nervously and pushed their lips together, she felt Kelley smile into the kiss and opened her legs so that Kelley could move even closer to her. Kelley leaned all the way forward and put both of her hands on either side of Emily’s face instantly deepening the kiss. Emily sighed into the kiss and tried to push all of the thoughts out of her mind and go with this. 

 

An hour later the door slammed behind Emily and she threw herself on Lindsey’s bed, Chipotle bowl and fork in her hand. Lindsey waved and greated her while Emily dug her fork into her bowl and Lindsey looked up from whatever iteration of the Real Housewives franchise she was watching. 

 

“So how was your talk” Lindsey asked. She gabbed the fork out of Emily’s hand and took a bite of just the guacamole sitting on the top of the bowl. 

 

“We had sex again.” Emily said feeling a sharp slap on her thigh. “What the fuck Lindsey!” She yelled snatching her fork back. 

 

“You were supposed to talk and figure out whatever that was! Not bone again!” Lindsey was shrill with her tone but amusement still played in her eyes. 

 

“We decided not to label it I guess. We talked some.” Emily said sheepishly looking at Lindsey. She gave in and filled Lindsey in on the full conversation that her and Kelley had, stopping just before Kelley had kissed her and the two spent the last hour ‘just having fun’ as Kelley had put it. 

 

“Since when are you in romantic situations that you don’t label?” Lindsey asked directly. 

 

“Never. But I could be.” Emily responded. Lindsey took the fork back and ate a chunk of shredded barbacoa and dipped it in sour cream and pointed her fork at Emily. 

 

“What are you getting out of this?” Lindsey said. “Because Kelley 100% controlled that conversation and got exactly what she wanted out of it. What did you get?” Emily was trying not to feel attacked. She avoided Lindsey’s gaze and let embarrassment take over. She picked a spot on the wall and glared at it, trying to find the exact answer to ge Lindsey off her back. “Listen, Emily. I’m just worried. I love Kelley too and you two are a hoot together, but this all sounds so sketchy, especially because she didn’t let you figure anything out for yourself.” Emily resisted the urge to defend Kelley and took another bite out of her lunch. 

 

“I know. I already e-mailed Nicky about it and her and I are going to dialogue about it on Monday.” She looked at Lindsey and hoped that was an acceptable answer. 

 

“Whatever you decide to do, I respect that because you are smart and no one knows Emily as well as Emily.” Lindsey said with a small smile on her face. As if on cue Emily’s phone dinged from inside her pocket. 

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ I’m already thinking about you again. _

 

Emily blushed right away and slapped away Lindsey’s hand as she tried to grab her phone from her, teasing her about having a ‘gay smile’ on her face.

 

**Emily Sonnett:** _ I haven’t stopped thinking about you since last night. _

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ Come over? _

 

**Emily Sonnett:** _ I’m hanging out with Lindsey and watching the Real Housewives while she steals my lunch. Later? _

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ Bring her. Me and Christen are watching season one of Grey’s Anatomy. _

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ I have blue powerade and sour patch kids _

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ I’ll even let you share my bed with me  _

 

Emily laughed at the winking emoji that Kelley included in the message and asked Lindsey if she wanted to hang out with Kelley and Christen. 

 

“I would say I’m only going to be a buffer between the two of you but apparently you two don’t care who is in the room when you have sex.” Lindsey said getting a shove from Emily who was still red in the face and claimed ‘it was only one time!’.

 

They slid on their shoes and walked over to Kelley and Christen’s dorm. Emily smiled entering the room and saw the roommates sitting on their opposite beds with the blinds shut and lights off, the light from Grey’s Anatomy illuminating the room. Lindsey grinned as she hopped up on Kelley’s bed and sat next to her which only embarrassed Emily. Emily did catch the look of silent disappointment on Kelley’s face as she slid onto Christen’s bed, happily accepting the package of sour patch kids. The group watched mostly in silent only commenting on the scenes that they knew were going to make them cry or shock them and after two episodes Emily felt her phone buzz.

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ I wish you were sitting here by me. _

 

Emily tried not to let her face betray her, but she was grinning widely. 

 

**Emily Sonnett:** _ Yeah. A little sad Lindsey beat me to it. _

 

Kelley’s face tightened while she contemplated their answer. Lindsey looked back and forth between the two of them starting to catch on. 

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ I wish it was just the two of us and I could kick Christen out. I want to be kissing you so badly.  _

 

**Emily Sonnett:** _ I really like kissing you. _

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ Mhm. I know you do. You get all flustered and red, kindove like you are now. _

 

Emily looked up and Kelley was grinning at her. 

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ But only when we start, once you get confident you’re not flustered anymore.  _

 

 **Emily Sonnett:** _You know how to make me nervous._

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ I want you to be straddling me right now and kissing me, like you do when you get confident and aren’t flustered anymore.  _

 

Emily quickly realized where this was turning and was weighing the options of how to respond to Kelley when her phone buzzed twice. 

 

**Kelley O’Hara:** _ It’s really sexy when you decide to take charge. _

 

**Lindsey Horan:** _ I did not come here so you two can fuck each other over text, watch the damn show. Love you! Mean it! _

 

Emily rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Lindsey. Which got a confused look from Kelley.

 

 **Emily Sonnett:** _Maybe later I can do it again._

 

She pocketed her phone much to Kelley’s surprise and struck up a conversation with Christen about the characters on Grey’s Anatomy. Her stomach was in knots and the way that Kelley was staring at her across the room did not help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love love love feedback! Let me know what you think. Any predictions? How do we think Emily is handling the situation?


End file.
